Thursday, November 30, 2006

Glittertosis

I'm afraid I have some bad news.

After all those cards with glitter and the one I made for our group swap, I have had to declare my stamp room an environmental hazard zone. I was bored last night and did a search on google on glitter and to my horror, I found an entire website about the hazards of glitter! There was this description of a new syndrome doctors have discovered, called Glittertosis. There was this segment about a recent news conference held by doctors expert in this syndrome:

"Glittertosis is an addictive syndrome we have been seeing a lot lately," said Dr. Imnotastamper, "It's characterized by fits of giddiness, an incurable desire to sprinkle glitter on everything, and the tendency to look on the sunny side of life all the time. As everyone knows, life is serious stuff and this can be very dangerous. If more people were realistic and decided that life is a burden that must be born, we would all be better off!" Dr. Imnotastamper left the stage as a chorus of booing broke out and glitter was flung after him as he held a handkerchief in front of his face.

Back stage, Dr. Imnotastamper explained that glittertosis is pervasive and is contracted by breathing and, yes, ingesting glitter. He said that it starts slowly because most people don't realize that they are actually eating tiny particles of glitter that cling to their clothing and their skin and drop into their food. "Extreme care must be taken to use glitter sparingly and to thoroughly clean your hands, hair and clothing afterwards. I recommend a complete change of clothing and a shower after using glitter at any time. But even better, don't use it at all!"

Out in the audience, a skeptical glitter user said, "I don't think he knows what he is talking about! I've been using glitter for years. I can stop any time I want to!" She paused to sneeze and I noticed a lot of glitter flying about as she did so. "Glitter makes me happy!" she said with a manic grin. Turning aside as if to hide what she was doing, she pulled out a small jar and proceeded to croon, "Sooooo pretty!" as she stirred the glitter with a tiny spoon. "What are you looking at?!" she shrieked as my cameraman tried to get a closer look. She left the conference room and headed for the rest room. One hates to speculate, but when she came out she was rubbing her nose as if it were itchy and had a glassy, euphoric expression on her face.

Well, anyway...there will have to be a lot of cleaning going on downstairs to make it fit for human habitation again. In the meantime, I know you guys...you always, always want more! And I can bet you have all been saying, "JAN!!! When are you going to start showing us what you are making with your new Winter mini sets!!!!" Okay, okay...I've really had a hard time getting going with this stuff, why, I don't know (well, see my last post for a good list of excuses.) But at last, I do have two things to show you...then you will just have to wait for me to do some more!




Okay, here's my swap for Controlfreaks...I understand that SOME of you in the swap have gotten yours already...mine BETTER be in the mail today or I will suffer a serious melt-down!!!





And here's what I made for last night's group meeting. The steam is embossed with Irridescent Ice EP after being stamped with white craft ink...sooo pretty....what are you looking at!?!?!?!

9 comments:

Taylor VanBruggen said...

You crack me up! I definitely suffer from glittertosis, but I'm not too concerned about it. :) Thanks for sharing your inspiring creations!

Tracie said...

Thanks-at least now I know what's wrong with me and my mom...thanks for being my daily smile!

Petals said...

So glad you're back. I've needed a good laugh! I really like the cards too!

Stamperosity said...

How funny...I sure needed a giggle this morning! Thanks for sharing and your cards are FANTABULOUS!

Renee said...

Girl, you crack me up! When I first saw this, I thought it was real! Scared me for all of 2.2 seconds.
Your cards are gorgeous!
Rubber Hugs,
Renee

Anonymous said...

love your blogg. Too funny.

pjbstamper said...

hey - that means my glitterphobia is a good thing, right???

Lisa said...

Janine - you never cease to entertain! I have a serious case of Glittertosis.....

I love the card you did with Like It A Latte too.....

Debbie said...

Thanks for a great big chuckle, JanTink! Your cards are sublime as well as your sense of humor!